


The Things You Said

by burstingin2life



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Short & Sweet, Sleepy Cuddles, admission of feelings, potential heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4627998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burstingin2life/pseuds/burstingin2life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 2 finale. Fitz and Simmons finally get a chance to express themselves. Written as part of a series of "things you said" prompts from tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things You Said

**Author's Note:**

> Its set at least a few days or weeks after they managed to recover Simmons so Fitz has had a bit of time to recover emotionally. They were intended to be much longer but I kept them short so they appear as different scenes.

**Things that you said that I wish you hadn’t**

The air was still. It almost felt like the world was holding its breath in anticipation. Fitz reached across her lap to grasp her hand. Her soft fingers thread themselves through his. She lifted her head, her eyes almost showing the hint of worry that he knew was painted across his face.

“Jemma…” starting this sentence was almost the hardest thing his had to do in his life. Almost. “Jemma, I died when you went missing. Those three months you were gone I couldn’t live.”

“Fitz…” she ran her thumb across his knuckles in reassurance.

“No I told you that I couldn’t live without you and I didn’t. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t even work in the lab knowing you weren’t there by my side. That’s not living. I never gave up on you.”

“I know you didn’t. I know, but I’m here now. You’ll be okay. I won’t leave you, I promise.” Hands held tighter, another wrapped over his and she drew it against her stomach in an almost possessive way. Her body heat was real and he knew that this time he would be okay. After she left he receded into his shell of dread. He would see her everywhere again, his stutter came back and it hurt to breathe. Like a cracked mirror, reality warped around him. He had panic attacks while he was alone at night. She came to him and whispered words to calm him down. He knew it wasn’t real but now it was; she was here, he could feel her, smell her, see her and it was almost overwhelming.

The lump in his throat finally melted and flowed from his lips. “I love you.” It was slow and quiet. Fitz wasn’t even sure he’d said it if it wasn’t for her sudden inhalation.

“You can’t say that. Please don’t say that.” Her eyes left his to look at their still interlocked hands.

“Why not? I do love you.” The words stung as they left his throat now. He unclasped their hands and placed one against the back of her head, drawing her face closer until her forehead was resting against his. “I love you Jemma.”

A tear fell and ran down her cheek as she closed her eyes against his words. “It hurts too much, please stop.”

“I can’t.” he whispered. “You could leave and I’ll never be able to say it.”

“I wouldn’t.” her breath was warm against his mouth. “I won’t ever leave. Because… I love you too. That’s why it hurts so much. I was gone for so long and I didn’t think I could live without you. What happened inside that rock was so horrifying that the only thing that kept me living was the thought of seeing you again.”

There was nothing more he could say. He tilted his face closer to hers and finally he could show her everything he couldn’t express with words. They inhaled deeply as their lips captured one another’s, pressing into each other’s touch, fingers tangling in hair. This was it. The moment they both knew everything would be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

**Things you said after we kissed**

The kiss deepened and his hand slid down to cup her jaw. He’d wanted to do this for so long and now it felt like he was floating. Nothing else mattered, not while she was here and he was pouring all his emotions into this. Everything he wanted to say, every bit of worry, doubt and sadness he felt during those long months he said with his lips moving over hers.

He pulled back slowly, savouring every touch of her, every taste she breathed. It was a moment before they made eye contact. Something about knowing he finally felt her mouth against his made her all the more beautiful. Their shared themselves so personally in that moment that he felt raw inside. The stone in his chest that used to press down on his sternum became something beautiful that made him shine. He hurt even more now at the mere thought of her even leaving the room without him. Is this what love was? Like heat running through his veins but also a sharp pain that tore them open.

“So that finally happened” she broke into a smile.

“Yeah it did” his grin was irrepressible as he carefully brushed a strand of hair off her face. “Wait did you just say ‘finally’?”

Her expression turned coy for a moment. “Yes,” but anguish seeped in. “It took so long for me to process my feelings and you pushed me away. I almost had a chance. It hurt but I deserved it. I shouldn’t have left you after we… I thought you needed to recover without me, that I was making you worse.”

He abruptly grasped her hand again. “No, Jemma. I wasn’t in the right mind. I was still recovering and the stress made me say things I deeply regret. It’s just that I thought you left because you didn’t know how to cope. I used to picture you standing beside me, talking to me and helping me remember how to speak…” He pinched his eyes shut for a moment. He felt like something squeezed his heart.

Her hand brushed against his cheek. “It’s okay I’m here.” His breathing slowed as she placed his hand just below her clavicle. “Feel that?” her heart thrummed in her chest. He felt the small vibrations through his fingers and he nodded. “That’s me, I’m real. I’ll never leave. You’re everything to me.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Things you said too quietly**

The night was cool and shows cast by the moonlight danced across the room. It was like reflections dancing on the water surface. Slow rain drops slid down the glass. Her eyes glistened as she lay there watching his chest rise and fall with each breath he drew. Her hand outstretched towards him. Gently she placed it on his sternum. Warmth soaked into her finger tips and ardour washed over her. He mumbled something in his sleep and shifted closer to her. Nothing felt more right than this right here.

He mumbled something again, a breathy whisper. It was quiet and soft but he definitely said something. She moved closer into his side until her forehead was pressed against his cheek.

“Jemma…” His voice was smooth and calm so he wasn’t having a disturbance in his unconscious thoughts.   
“What is it Fitz?” The brushing of her fingers on his shirt didn’t stir him much.

He respired deeply and he spoke again. “Jemma… I need you.”

“I’m here Fitz.” She moved her hand up over his chest and settled against the spot between his shoulder and his neck. “I’m here.”

Another inhale and he turned his head to face her, eyes slowly cracked open. “Everything alright?” he asked with a more conscious demeanour.

She smiled slightly. “You were talking in your sleep.”

“Oh was I? Erm I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep.” Truthfully she couldn’t close her eyes because it scared her to think that was all a façade. That this reality would shatter and she would reopen her eyes and become immersed in the darkness again.

“Jemma, I know what you’re thinking and you’re safe here. Nothing’s going to happen.” Perhaps her glazy eyes had given her away or perhaps he felt something the same.

“You kept saying my name, while you were sleeping.” Aware that her hand still rested beside his neck, she traced her thumb along the surface of his skin. He closed his eyes briefly. Her touch was comforting to both of them.

“It’s just… I…” he sighed, unsure how to find the words. It was debilitating. Eyes searching hers, he almost pleaded with her to help him but her gaze was tenacious and reassuring. Nothing was going to hinder him. “It’s an obstacle. It damaged us. We can move past it, but for now we just have to take it one step at a time, as cliché as it sounds. It’s… entropy.”

“Entropy,” she echoed. “You’re comparing this to the chaotic nature of the universe?” She mulled it over for a beat. “Well you aren’t exactly wrong.”

“It’s okay to admit we’re not okay, Jemma.” Sometimes he felt like he was standing on the edge of a precipice. The rain drops continued their soft pattering decent, encouraging a creeping melancholia. She placed several chaste kisses to his lips and it felt like there was a lighter sensation about the air. They pressed themselves closer and she inhaled his comforting scent.

“I’ll never let you go” her whispered into her hair.

“Me either.”

 


End file.
